I crush on my boot camp instructor. It’s not because he’s attractive (which he is) or well built (again, he is) or charming (yeah, you know already), it’s because this is what women tend to do. I’ve learned that each woman has her own belief as to why this is. I’ve quizzed friends about it and was very happy to learn that I’m not a freak, this is very common!. Among them are:
“It makes it easier to take being told what to do.”
“It gives me a reason to show up to every class.”
“I respect that he challenges me.”
“I know this person is helping to make me a better person.”
And on and on it goes. In the end my belief of why this happens goes something like this…
A woman’s (or man’s, I guess) instructor, whether fitness, educational, or other, is by any other definition, a relationship. It’s not an intimate (read: sexual) relationship in most cases but it is still a relationship. As with any other relationship, when it’s a healthy relationship a person will feel challenged, comfortable, secure, and supported. This is how my boot camp instructor makes me feel. He challenges me to do better, but in a way that makes me feel comfortable with my own level of progress. I feel secure in the instructions and feedback I receive and I feel supported in my progress and effort.
Over the years I’ve had professors, instructors, and friends who made me feel this exact combination and I’ve loved them all to a certain degree. I have no desire to flirt with, date, or sleep with my boot camp instructor. But I’d love to take his class more often, so that I get that exciting balance of comfort, reassurance, and challenge more often.
Makes me wonder if this is something that’s missing in my personal relationships, a need that I’m trying to fill, or if I just really need to be challenged more? I don’t have an answer to that yet…
Just a random thought for the day.