I thought today, while starting at the ceiling above me and trying desperately not to scream, that women are just insane creatures. I paid a woman good, hard earned money to day to have me lay completely bare before her, contort me into strange positions, and rip the hair out of my most sensitive skin. In the name of beauty. Seriously.
I can understand makeup, I can understand the new desire to run miles when I’m not being chased, I can even understand wearing six inch heels that kill my feet more than the pounding from running. But there are times, that as a woman, I just don’t get the torture we put ourselves through.
My most recent long term relationship I felt like I needed to be superwoman. Don’t ask me why because I honestly don’t know. It was likely a combination of my desire to take care of my family and feel some control in chaotic times and his inability to tell me he didn’t need me to do absolutely everything for fear of unbalancing my tightly coiled balancing act. The poor man, I almost pity any guy who goes up against a woman who is in a phase of her life where she’s burning herself out trying to be superwoman.
Giving up the need to be everything for everyone all the time while still doing everything was an experience similar to today’s waxing nightmare… It was a repeated ripping off of old ideas and habits, trying not to rail against yourself for making such a stupid decision in the first place. It took practice, much gritting of teeth, and a steel resolve to get to the place I am now. To not worry about every little detail. To not have to do everything perfectly all the time.
Today, in addition to paying a stranger to torture me in incomprehensible ways, I went for a run, did some light shopping, did a home kettlebell workout, and let myself have some much needed me time. I didn’t even start my homework until 9pm (even though it’s due tonight) and, Oh My God, the world didn’t stop turning on its axis.
My brain is practically reeling at this realization. My world didn’t end, nobody died, the homework still got done, and yet… I feel refreshed. I’m not completely stressed and freaking out about work in the morning. I don’t feel guilty for putting my needs first. I don’t feel horrible for making time for myself.
And I’m still superwoman.
I’m a good mother. I’m a good friend and daughter and sister. I’m a good person. And each time I let go of the habit to do everything, I become a better person. I become a happier person, able to handle adversity and twists of fate that would have thrown my entire life into chaos in the past.
I might just start wearing a cape, with my new bikini that shows off the results of my torture… you know, for fun. Just saying.
- My Eight Favorite Beauty Products (mandibelle16.wordpress.com)
- Tips For Removing Makeup Stains (savvysassymoms.com)
- Toss Out Your Razor?! The New Technology That Might Mean Always-Smooth Legs (self.com)