I have “free” time these days. That’s a new concept the last three years. No it’s not coincidence that my lack of free time coincides with my last long-term relationship. Life was complicated for a long time. First there was the economy crashing and my lack of employment. Then there was the pregnancy thing. Then there was my job, school, and my son. I still have a job, school, and my son (most of the time). The only variable that changed was the end of the relationship. That is not to say that it was his fault I didn’t spend more time doing things I enjoy.
(Off topic musing: You’ve been warned)
See here’s where the female and male mind tends to differ on the topic.
He would say: “You do more things you enjoy now that I’m gone, so you must be happier without me.”
She would say: “I no longer feel so guilty for you being at home with our child while I’m at work, plus taking up the slack while I’m studying, that feel I inclined to give up my activities so that you/we can pursue yours.”
See, a woman who feels that she is “burdening” her partner with a heavy workload feels that he is sacrificing for her. So in turn, she’ll sacrifice things for him. Since responsibilities cannot be sacrificed this means that she tends to give up things she enjoys instead. The relationship ended and my responsibilities are no longer a burden that he must sacrifice for. So I am free to enjoy my free time any way I please.
One of those ways is putting my totally random thoughts into this blog. Not that I expect anyone to read it. But, if anyone ever does, here’s my disclaimer:
Statements here are completely random, tend to deal with the little musings of life and relationships, and take a fairly no-nonsense view of both the writer and the differences in male/female ways of thinking. Input is always welcome, but keep it friendly or I’ll punt you’re a$$ into oblivion. I don’t tolerate outright rudeness and while I enjoy debating differences of opinion, if you can’t have a logical debate, you’re not welcome here. I tend to go off in many different directions and I make no apologies. If you want more structure, start your own blog. I reserve the right to change my opinion and the disclaimer without notice or input from anyone (I am a woman, after all).
(Off topic musing concluded, let’s return to the show.)
Now that that’s been said, let’s get back to the subject of free time.
How does one, having not had free time in over three years, decide how to spend this newfound time?
Being the optimistic person I happen to be, I’ve come up with a few ideas.
1.) When someone asks you to go out and do something, say yes if at all possible.
2.) Return to your roots. I like to write and be creative. This will manifest here on the blog, in knitting projects I never finished, and through making more jewelry than I could ever possibly wear.
3.) Plan fun things to do. Since I still have homework, work and my son. I’m penciling into my schedule all the wonderful summer events held in my area so that I can work my responsibilities around my desire to have fun in the sun.
4.) Reach out to people. So far I’ve made some new mommy friends and found a person in my network that was able to recommend a crossfit gym. Which leads me to #5..
5.) Get active. I lost a lot of weight due to stress the last three months and now, sadly, I feel skinny fat. Since my schedule is (mostly) my own again, I’m looking forward to getting back to the gym. I am, for the first time ever, actually excited about it. I have a bikini waiting and this summer I will be confident enough to wear it in public. I’m joining that crossfit gym my acquaintance goes to, I’m returning to the YMCA to get back to my water baby roots, and I’ve picked out a child seat for my bicycle.
Of course, there are still responsibilities that have to be worked into my schedule – house cleaning, organizing, etc… So it’s going to be a balancing act, but I’m not worried. The optimist in me knows everything will work out and that this summer is going to be one to go down in the record books.
So the closing thought for this post will be: There is no such thing as Free. No free lunch, no free time. Time costs us minutes of our lives and while we have to spend time handling our responsibilities, it will only make us bitter if we don’t use some of those life draining minutes doing things that make us smile. Smile more, people!!!